Saturday. It's sometime past 3am. I know this because my eyes are hurting from having contacts in all day. Sarah is sitting next to me on top of a mountain of stairs, chain smoking with me while I try to ring out some of the days anxieties. Sarah, she reminds me so much of me sometimes that I think it must be impossible for us both to exist at the same time. but somehow we do.
I've had too much drink. I've forgotten what this is like. I've forgotten how much I hate it.
people keep passing by, stumbling here and there. talking to each other, to themselves. Everyone seems in good spirits. Apparently they haven't been given the memo on the fact that I'm in a bad mood, and they shouldn't be enjoying anything while I'm being pissy. why doesn't the world work this way?

I can't fully remember why I'm in a bad mood. other than the drinking. maybe it's because I feel like a dick. or I acted like a dick. or both. Maybe I'm just tired. or questioning too many things at once. regardless, I'm just annoyed.